Verbal manspreading: campaigning to change 'First Team' to 'Arsenal Men'

Since 2015, I have been writing to Arsenal Football Club asking them to change the term ‘First Team’ to ‘Arsenal Men’.

For those who don’t know, a lot of long-established football clubs have women’s teams (although not all, and Manchester United only established one this year). Historically, ‘first team’ referred to the team that plays in the leagues we’ve all heard of, as opposed to reserve or youth teams. This makes sense where the teams are part of a hierarchy, but women’s football is a completely different competition.

After reading Caroline Criado-Perez’s book, Do It Like a Woman (Portobello Books Ltd, 2015), I was inspired by the section about how language is used to dominate*. As she points out, there is football and there is women’s football, and equality will not happen until messages and naming do not default to the male, implicitly excluding those who are not. 

Such messages are picked up by the young very quickly, and there's plenty of research demonstrating the ways in which being subconsciously excluded from an environment can turn you off the activity within it.

This is not a women’s football issue, but actually a male issue, an example of a sort of verbal manspreading that is hurting the chances of the women’s game being treated seriously and fairly. Considering the Football Association effectively banned women from playing football from 1921 to 1971, it’s the least the men’s game can do.

So I started writing to the club to ask them to change this, to make it ‘Arsenal Men’ and ‘Arsenal Women’ (or ‘Arsenal Ladies’ as it was then, they changed that bit along the way) and to explain why.

Not every week or anything, I didn’t go the full 'Shawshank Redemption' on them, but apparently enough to illicit a couple of return letters, an email and even a phone call which all said the same thing: please stop sending us letters.

They originally offered some responses to my reasons, which I countered, but after that it was template, "thank you for your interest, it is noted, you won’t hear about it again".

Then, in late 2017, Manchester City did exactly what I was suggesting. Then in May 2018 Chelsea did it too. I wrote to Arsenal to tell them. They remain uninterested. So I am mulling my next move. I may watch The Shawshank Redemption again.

Rather than publish all the full letters here (as they’re a little repetitive), I’ll just publish the first one I can find (seem to be missing the very first one, but the second was much the same), and the most recent one. Most recent for now, anyway....

*Seeing as Caroline finishes the chapter with, ‘And we can start to bring that world into being by making changes as small and as simple as calling men’s football ‘men’s football’’, I can’t claim inspiration so much as instruction, but that’s fine by me.

13 August 2015

Dear Mr Gazidis

Further to my letter of 13 July, I am writing to you as an Arsenal fan and Red Member to once again ask you to change the name of Arsenal’s First Team to Arsenal Men.

As a reminder, I am doing this for two reasons, the second of which follows from the first.

It seems pretty clear that Arsenal’s First Team and Arsenal Ladies belong to the same overall Arsenal ‘club’. Although they are separate entities, Arsenal Ladies are described as being ‘the club’s female side’ on the club website.

So, if the teams are indeed two halves of the same club as I believe is reasonable to propose, then my second reason is that making this change would be another important and innovative step in Arsenal’s long tradition of being, as my club proclaims itself to be, ‘always ahead of the game’.

Women’s Super League has now returned, and has demonstrated that the women’s game is more popular and successful than ever, with larger attendances and media profile.  I saw Arsenal Ladies unfortunately lose to Liverpool via my Season Ticket.

But society is also changing.  Feminist writers such as Laura Bates and Caroline Criado Perez have written about how our culture is largely based, often unconsciously, around men as the default, normal viewpoint. As they eloquently describe, this gives off the impression that men are normal and women are different, that mainstream things are for men and not for women. This is often not planned, but comes together with other forms of discrimination in our wider society (again, often not intended discrimination but discrimination nonetheless) to create a culture that alienates women from things that may well actually be seeking to welcome them.

At the moment, Arsenal’s website categorises news, fixtures, results, tables, players, staff and most other team specific things into ‘First Team’, ‘Academy’ and ‘Ladies’. This is an example of this phenomenon. It is (almost certainly subconsciously) assumed by all website visitors that the ‘First Team’ is the men’s team. That although Arsenal has a women’s team with a great tradition of its own, and even one more Champion’s League title than the men’s team, the ‘First Team’ must be the men. It is so clear it does not even need saying. And that is how the ‘male default’ phenomenon happens.

Although Arsenal is proud of its women’s team, the club currently effectively says that there can only be one ‘First Team’, and it is, and always will be, the men’s team. They are, by extension, senior to the women’s team (they are ‘First’ after all), better than them, more central to what football is because they are what ‘normal’ football is. That is not what is meant, but that is the effect it has, even though the men’s and women’s competitions are not linked and should therefore effectively be seen as on an equal level.

Yes, it is the ‘First Team’ because there are reserve and Academy teams. But they are stepping stones to the top men’s team. Arsenal Ladies are not a stepping stone to Arsenal Men, so Arsenal Men cannot be the ‘first’ team. Indeed, they both have reserve and youth teams, so the names really do cease to make much sense.

Such terminology remains common across all teams, unsurprisingly. For this second letter, I once again checked the websites of all the clubs who have a women’s team in the top two WSL divisions. The only difference is where a club does not even feel the need to use the term ‘First Team’, where they feel it is so obvious what the term ‘team’ means that they leave it at that.

If Arsenal Football Club believe that its men’s and women’s teams are part of the same club, are of equal standing, and also that Arsenal are always ahead of the game, then this is the opportunity to prove it once again. To be as innovative as Herbert Chapman was with the W-M formation, and Arsene Wenger was with physical fitness and fluid football.

By declaring, publically and forever, that Arsenal have two first teams that they value equally for their incredible achievements at the pinnacle of their sports - Arsenal Men and Arsenal Ladies. 

This is a simple and straightforward change, that will be seen very widely and make a big difference to women’s football, women’s sport and our wider culture.

It is not yet the norm, but it will be one day, and that is why Arsenal now have another chance to lead football, and in the most modern of ways.

Next year Arsenal will turn 130 years old. What better way to mark this than to continue our tradition as the most progressive, forward-thinking, egalitarian club in the land. To prove that Arsenal are the future of football, and we are indeed ahead of the game.

I would like to thank you for your time in reading this letter, and hope it finds you well.  I am excited about what looks to be an exciting title race for Arsenal Ladies and feel sure that Arsenal Men can bounce back from the loss to West Ham.

Yours in optimism,

Martin Cordiner

4 June 2018

Dear Mr Gazidis

I am writing to you to once again ask you to change the name of the First Team to ‘Arsenal Men’.

Firstly, thank you to your colleague for emailing me on 10 May, to say that my letter had been received and that, ‘the club has no further comment to make on this matter at the present time’. I have copied them into this letter, as he was kind enough to write to me.

His email did not reference the club’s most recent letter to me (dated 14 November 2017), which said that, ‘the Committee responsible’ for making such changes would ‘review at the next session’. I would therefore be grateful if it could be confirmed which Committee this is. I would also be grateful if you could tell me if it is possible to make representations to this Committee or to write to them directly.

I would also like to draw your attention to the fact that Chelsea Football Club have now joined Manchester City in making the change to their website that I have been suggesting. And like Arsenal, they have changed their women’s team name from ‘Ladies’ to ‘Women’. They explicitly reference the dropping of the term ‘First Team’ in the press release about the change, saying the following:

“The change will see us move away from consistently referring to our men’s team as the ‘first’ team, acknowledging the ever-growing status of women’s football, and Chelsea within it.”

This now means that of the three biggest clubs in women’s football, Arsenal are now the only one not to be using the terms ‘Men’ and ‘Women’, instead of ‘First Team’ and ‘Women’. Arsenal, for so long a leading, innovative force, are now, as a club, placing themselves in a position behind their rivals, for reasons which I do not believe have ever been adequately explained, and are evidently not a problem for another two of the biggest clubs in both men’s and women’s football.

I appreciate that it is a busy time for you and for Arsenal Football Club. I would like to congratulate you and your team for the great decision to bring in Unai Emery, and I am firmly behind your direction for the club as a whole. I am especially excited as I have just become a men’s team season ticket holder (and plan to continue with being a women’s team season ticket holder), so can’t wait for the new season to start.

I hope that by doing this I have demonstrated to you my love for this club, and my support for the great work you and your team are doing. I genuinely believe that my suggestion would make the club a more innovative one, a club that is committed to explicit and proactive action to bring about greater equality in our society. I hope that my commitment to the club has been demonstrated, and as such you will consider (or reconsider?) this change. I am not seeking to criticise, I am seeking to help.

Arsenal could make this change in time for the new season, and start this new and exciting phase of our great history at the absolute forefront of best, and increasingly common, practice.

I implore you to strongly consider it, and I thank you once again for your time.

Yours in hopefulness

Martin Cordiner

Arsenal poem

I first heard the news about Arsene Wenger leaving Arsenal while checking out of an Italian hotel on honeymoon. I remember the time before him, but not that much of it. Having one manager in charge of your football club for 22 years has quite the effect on you.

An Arsenal blogger made this video in which he describes giving a letter to Arsene at a press conference. In the video, James talks about the impact Arsene had on him personally when he joined, how he not only brought such style and success but how Arsene also looked different, in a way which was quite personal to the young James.

That inspired the following poem. Thankfully I hadn't finished the whole thing before I realised that in form and content it was effectively a ballad and I rewrote it in that form (four beats, then three beats, repeating). It's called the Kid who Would.

The Kid who Would

Not so very long ago

And not so far away,

A child of 10, or so, he had

A game he used to play.

He’d kick a ball, out with his mates,

Fun, but plain to see…. 

Lost his glasses, misplaced his passes….

Thought, ‘maybe, not for me’.

For while he felt it had its charms,

Set off some inner spark,

The way things were, back there and then,

Left it in the dark.

A certain culture pervaded the sport,

Of ‘hard men’ who ‘played tough’.

He liked the game but all the same,

He felt not good enough.

And then one day some news arrived

At the club he liked to watch,

A new guy here to lead the team,

To turn things up a notch.

He pushed his glasses up his nose

To watch the announcement made.

Half-listening now, he wondered how

Much longer he’d play this game.

But when he saw the man they’d picked

He couldn’t believe his eyes:

Sharply dressed, odd accent,

Not the normal size.

A rangy, almost lanky, look,

Deep thoughts and quite complex.

However, the find that blew his mind - 

He….WAS WEARING…..SPECS!

Specs! SPECS! Whatever next!

The spark it burst to flame.

He hopped about, began to shout:

‘Bring on the next game!’

First time round the new man brought

A double of League and Cup!

No longer boring, defenders scoring - 

That sums it all up.

Little did he know, of course,

There was so much more to come:

Titles, finals, Invincibles,

The joy, the style, the fun.

Beauty and art came to this club,

Football sent from above,

But along the way, something else had changed:

Like had turned to love.

Inspired by the team he saw,

A thought struck him anew:

‘This man belongs, but he doesn’t play….

Maybe I can too’.

And so, he found his voice, his art,

A different kind of fan.

He told his jokes and amused some folks - 

A different kind of man.

The years went by, until one day,

The end game came at last.

Now jester and king, they could not believe

That 22 years had passed.

The jester penned words, he wanted to tell

Of the journey and joys he’d had.

After reading the letter, the king felt better.

He thought, ‘that’s nice - I’m glad’.

Journey’s end is new journey’s start,

For jesters and for kings.

Slings and arrows test us all

And criticism, sometimes, stings.

But for hope, remember this,

The tale of The Kid who Could:

Of how Arsène inspired his pen

To become the The Kid who Would.

Eye stuff

So I work in the research department of a place called The College of Optometrists, which is the professional body for optometrists.

What are they, you may ask? They are the people who tell you whether you need glasses or have eye disease, so what most people call an optician. They're actually ophthalmic opticians, otherwise known as optometrists, as opposed to dispensing opticians (who sort out the glasses).

But aaaaaaanyway.....I've had the chance to write some stuff, in particular some blogs, about this and that to do with optometric research and good research practice more generally. If you've ever read Ben Goldacre's dissection of how the press misrepresent research then it's been a bit like that. And one about going to Disneyland.

So here's a few of them. Although they're for optometrists, the aim is for the research stuff to be understood by a lay audience. And hey, isn't Disneyland for everyone? NO, IT'S REALLY EXPENSIVE.

Some of these were collaborations, so thank you to everyone who's ever helped me ever.

Where do you get your information from? (May 2018)
What systematic reviews are, why they matter and the great contribution of the Cochrane Collaboration.

Who's right? (February 2017)
About the questions to ask of a piece of evidence to see if it can be trusted.

CET and Mickey Mouse (November 2016)
My adventures at an American conference in Anaheim, California (home to, yes, Disneyland).

Bigger (data) is better (August 2016)
How collecting patient data in a consistent way allows us to know much more about the public's eye health.

How do we see? (March 2016)
A conversation about how the eyes and the brain combine to create our visual perception.

It's got to be (im)perfect (February 2016)
About false positives, false negatives and the necessary trade-off between the two.

What's in a number? (January 2016)
An explainer about prevalence and incidence, and how useful those numbers are when talking to individual patients.

What just wrecked the mic? Hopefully not me.... (October 2015)
My experience of interviewing two legends for a podcast.

Newsjack sketch

Newsjack is a BBC topical comedy show on BBC Radio 4 Extra, but the twist is they accept submissions from the public. They can be short one-liners or whole sketches. Back in 2010 I submitted a sketch inspired by a story about an eye test for dementia, and it ended up in the show. I was actually there for the recording too.

You submitted your material on a Monday, it got used (or most likely not) in the extended recording on a Wednesday, and you'd get an email telling you that if so. Then you had the anxious wait until Thursday evening to find out if it had made the show (again, informed by email), then it was broadcast at 11.00pm on Thursday night (on BBC Radio 7 as it was known then). But this being the BBC, you could apply for tickets and go along.

So my mate suggested it, we had some drinks in the BBC bar, headed in and about three quarters of the way through they started saying words that I recognised, which was pretty surreal. The sketch was performed by Andi Osho and Jess Robinson, and I'm pretty proud that it was a whole sketch and they basically didn't need to change a single word. And I got paid a whole £32 for it too! Maybe it was a slow week....

Anyway, I doubt I'm allowed to post the audio so here's the script.

Dementia Eye Test

OPTICIAN
Okay, that’s great Mrs Jenkins, your eye sight seems fine.  Now there’s just one more test I’d like to do, it’s quite new but perfectly safe, it’s actually a test for dementia.

MRS JENKINS
Really?

OPTICIAN
Yes, indeed.  New research and all that, you see.  Now if you’d just like to read the top line for me?

MRS JENKINS
B – F – T – R – X

OPTICIAN
Okay, if you’d like to read the top line for me?

MRS JENKINS
(SLIGHTLY UNCERTAINLY) B – F – T – R – X

OPTICIAN
And if you’d just like to read the top line for me?

MRS JENKINS
(LESS CONFIDENT, HESITANTLY) B – F – T – R – X

OPTICIAN
Okay, yeah. I’ve got Dementia, haven’t I?

MRS JENKINS
Yes, you have.

And here, in fact, is the note of when I first thought of it, that I found when looking through my notebook. As you can see, the repeating line popped into my head and it went from there.

Poem o'clock

I wrote this poem a while ago, it was for a friend's wedding and they were kind enough to allow me to publish it here, isn't that sweet. And they provided a free bar and everything, amazing.

They first asked me to do a reading, and then actually asked me whether I had any suggestions. I couldn't find anything that felt appropriate enough to them, or I hadn't heard before several times....so I thought I would have a go (while, in fact, on the way to and working at an optometry conference in Dublin). Thankfully they liked it, which was great because I had ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER IDEAS AND WE'D HIT A DEADLINE.

This is it, it's called Love Isn't.

Love Isn't.

Love isn’t:

Holding a door,

Sweeping the floor

Or rubbing your shoulders when they feel sore.

It’s not:

Cooking you dinner,

Saying, “you’re thinner”,

Taking out the bins in the middle of winter.

It isn’t:

Working a duster,

Or maintaining a lustre,

Or feigning an interest in some action blockbuster.

It’s not:

Bringing you treats,

Chocolate and sweets,

And watching your favourite televisual repeats.

It is not even:

To have and to hold,

In hot and in cold,

It’s not a declaration, if I may be so bold.

Love is:

All the tiny little bits in-between,

The fact unproved and the thought unseen.

It is simply something you know and you feel:

Enchanting, noble, glorious and real.

Editing RESET magazine (pre-cursor to CALMzine)

CALM produced a magazine called the CALMzine for a number of years, but have recently brought it to an end. This inspired me to wonder whether its first incarnation, called Reset was still out there somewhere, as I edited the first couple of issues.

Turns out it is!

They were fun to do, but in the end I didn't have the time and handed over to the brilliant Rachel Clare.

Reset Issue 1 (December 2010)

Reset Issue 2 (January 2011)

For some reason you sometimes have to hit refresh after reaching the page to see the issue....weird.

Pieces for CALM

The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is a charity I got involved with around 2008, writing various bits and bobs for. It started with music and then moved into other areas.

Back then they were aiming to reduce suicide amongst young men, the biggest killer of 15-35 year-olds, but they're now campaigning for men generally. Their cause inspired me to write the following pieces, amongst others.

Kill the Bantz (September 2014), a response to the launch of the UN's HeForShe campaign about why men need, and should support, feminism.

A response to the death of Gary Speed (February 2012), a piece I wrote when I heard the news about former football player and manager Gary Speed's death.

Hello!

Hello there. This is a blog for my writing, which comes in a few different forms.

I'm lucky enough to get to do some for work, but I also try and write poetry and comedy. I have previously written music reviews for The Fly magazine and written about various topics for a charity called the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), which aims to reduce male suicide.

I'll be putting stuff up here as it's better than it sitting on a hard drive.

And the title of the blog comes from a sketch that my mate Greg and I once wrote and I recently found again. The premise is probably the only saveable bit so I've nabbed it.

May you enjoy these works or at least go, 'good for him, now, what else is on?'.